Critics say you have a cult-like following.
To what do you attribute this?
The Detroit Free Press started the "cult" reference in an article
written about me in the 1990's and the label stuck (I was writing
comedic TV commercials then). I have a good size core of regular
listeners/readers and for that I'm grateful.
As for attributing it to anything: I don't know but it's nice to write
or (talk about) something and know that somewhere someone else is
enjoying it.
Why do you write?
I enjoy it a great deal and possess an active imagination desperately needing an
ongoing readily accessible outlet.
When was your website created?
My domain was registered in '99 but I've been writing online since 1992.
GTE gave everyone a whopping 10 MB of space when you signed up for dial-up
service and I started my first website then (essays and audio stories).
Your comics are rather
simplistic. It that intentional?
I've never had any formal training with regards to illustration. I'm
the first to admit that I'm a lousy cartoonist but I prefer my stories with
illustrations.
Have you
actually done any of the things you write about?
Yes.
Like what?
Once I donated a lamp putting it alongside a Salvation Army drop box
and there was an attractive woman there (at the drop box) who was also
donating something and before I knew it we were making love on a used up
mattress that someone else had donated. The best part was we
found an old transistor radio that worked (another donation). It
was romantic. We had the stars above, free music and the bed was
pretty good too.
Really?
No.
You do your Podcasts from your closet?
Yes. I think it sounds better. It's seven foot by three foot.
Behind me (in the closet) is the electric blanket my father was using when he
died and in front of me is the thick black dress my mother wore to my fathers
wake. These things really help with the acoustics. I've got an
electric candle in there with me and I burn incense too (gets me in the mood).
What things do you read?
I love to check out books from the local library. The thinner the
better with bigger than usual text printed on white not yellow
paper. Regrettably I pick books by their snazzy covers then reading about
the author afterward skimming through about a dozen or so pages before I
almost always return them overdue.
Have
you got a book publisher?
No major
publisher yet but I'm confident it will eventually happen. I figure I'll
live to 75 maybe 80 which gives me a good amount of time to
succeed. Maybe my future publisher is only 16 years old right now but at 27 this
person is the head of a large publishing house and my biggest
fan. That means I'll be in all the bookstores in 11 years (unless this
person changes careers at age 26 in which case my debut could be
delayed).
You've appeared in television commercials?
Plays and dozens of TV commercials. In Detroit I was writing comedic television
commercials for a big corporation and in a lot of the
spots they used me as the talent.
You were accepted into the prestigious Powerhouse theatre
program at Vassar College?
That was in 1999. For a short time I stayed in Josselyn Hall.
How come you're in Florida?
My stepfather was ill and living in Florida and he phoned and asked if I would come
down and help him while he worked to get better. I was living in Detroit
at the time.
How's he doing?
He's dead.
You had a stepfather?
A great stepfather.
What about your biological father?
Dead. I met him once years ago. I was
sitting in a room with him and while I was talking to him he kinda tilted his
head to one side and that's when I realized I was blocking his view of the TV.
He was watching the Golden Girls.
I once read an article about you and it mentioned something about you getting
dumped by your mother. Is it okay to ask you about this?
When I was very young my mother drove to a Grant's department store in Detroit
and told me to get out and when I did she just drove away. Maybe 30
minutes later she came back. Years later she explained to me how
overwhelmed she was at the time what with raising children with no husband and
all (at that time). My mother was hoping some government service would
take care of me and assign me to a good family. Today, if ever
we're arguing with one another I'll jokingly say, "But I'm not the woman who abandoned
her only son like a f-cking bag of garbage."
Where can I buy a t-shirt or Frisbee or even a plastic cup with your
name on it?
How 'bout custom embroidered short sleeve
Dickies?
Have you ever worked as a reporter?
Two of my favorites were The Herald and the Panex Advisor. My editor at the Advisor was
exceptional possessing a unique prospective and wonderful sense of humor.
Today she is a nationally acclaimed press spokeswoman for
General Motors in New York City. In retrospect, the Advisor's newsroom
had it all: a Vietnam vet photographer overflowing with war
stories; a yellow haired, hot tempered, chain smoking hard news reporter
who'd always ask me: "What the hell are you looking at?,"
a glamour
queen reporter desperately seeking the limelight and soft spoken nature loving
woman named, Les. It was great fun and a tremendous learning
experience.
What goes through your mind as you
work and exactly how do you work?
I work in the morning typing directly into the computer making revisions as I
write then coming back to the piece the next day reworking it all over
again then re-reading it about 20 more times after it's finished then
maybe re-working it one last time before I re-write the whole damn
thing. I was never any good at writing longhand on yellow legal
pads or anything romantic like that. As for what goes through my
mind: to be able to finish the piece with the same initial enthusiasm
and interest I had when
I first started it.
What is your favorite type of writing?
I'm different and I write the way I think and it comes out as
humor. I like humor.
Some writers plot out their stuff from
beginning to end. You?
I never know the beginning or end of anything I write. After a couple
of sentences my characters kinda develop on their own.
Pulitzer
Prize winning author Norman Mailer once wrote you?
Yes. It was regarding an internship opportunity with him but also
contained some good advice.
You attended FSU? (Ferris
State University)
I did. Ward Hall room 407. It's a great university located in the hilly town of rural
Big Rapids, Michigan (USA). It was initially hard for me. Following schedules, studying
and all that. It's tough for me to direct my attention on any one
thing. I was always more interested in what was going on around
me (The perfume coming from the chick sitting on my right, shoes,
hairstyles, how people held pens and pencils, watching people
walking past the window and of course the clock on the wall).
Eventually, I became one of the editors of FSU's newspaper (The Torch), won a university prize for a
mailbox invention and got a very rare on camera at home interview with
internationally renowned author Russell
Kirk, author of The
Conservative Mind.
You were terminated from your job as Editor?
They had this heavy drinking Irishman leading the Journalism
program. He had this really big weathered nose and the veins running
throughout it were swollen and purple and highly visible. I sent a fake
press release to a small newspaper and when they printed it and he found out
about it he canned me. Later on I found out he didn't have the authority
to do that.
And you were kicked out of your dorm?
At that time conduct on campus was handled by issuing
what they called Long and Short forms. You
got a Short form for one type of infraction and a Long form
for yet another type of infraction. I had amassed about a dozen or
more
infractions and (at the close of my freshman year) was sent to the office of
the legendary Dr. Peterson (FSU's onetime Disciplinary Officer).
He was a scary, red faced, ex-military man with a handlebar mustache
and he smiled a lot which made you think he was your pal.
Ten days before my sophomore year was to begin I got a letter telling me that I
couldn't live in Ward Hall anymore. I think he hoped I wouldn't be able to
find housing that close to the start of the new school year and that I'd simply
drop out of the university entirely.
Did you find housing?
Boy did I.
Did you graduate?
In my sophomore year I became friends with a first-rate professor and author
(Thomas Brownell) who was also a Dartmouth graduate. He taught me how I
could rein myself in a little and still be me and thanks to him my remaining years at
Ferris were relatively uneventful.
You published while at FSU?
I self published around 5000 copies of Leonard at FSU in my freshman
year (My mother helped me put the books together during Christmas
break). The piece dealt with abandonment, dating, fear and
loneliness.
Long term goals?
Like anyone, I'm always on the lookout for paying gigs. I don't really
have long term goals. Mostly, I look forward to each day and I'm
thankful.